Halfway Goal

I'm halfway through the training for the half-marathon at the end of April. Week 5 of 10 is complete, check.

I'm training 3 weeks longer than I did last year for my first Half, and yet this time around feels like it's going by much quicker - and feels much easier.

Last time I was so nervous about not being able to finish, I took my runs slowly and paced myself easily, I didn't care about time I just wanted to finish. It was a huge challenge for me, I'd never done anything remotely athletic and I was basically building up my body from the bottom - I had little muscle from years of being non-athletic, and having a baby turned whatever sort of muscle I had in my body to mush.

I feel much different this time. I was apprehensive about training again, just because it's such a huge time commitment- well, really its a huge commitment all around. But I jumped in and have been feeling really good. As always, some runs are better than others, and some just downright suck...but the feeling of running is addicting and though I may not look forward to every single run, I look forward to the way I feel after.

I feel different in the fact that my body is stronger, and as a result I'm not as tired after my runs, I feel better during the runs, and I'm able to go faster. I'm still not fast. I'm not sure if I'll ever been one of those 7-minute mile people, but I'm considerably faster than last time. For some reason I'm slower on the treadmill, I think it's the lack of oxygen and air circulation and boredom. But on all my runs outside I've been averaging 9:30-minute miles, which took me by surprise the first couple times. Again, not track-star time, but really good for me and I've been able to push myself harder this time around.

So my ultimate reason for this post is to make my goal for this half-marathon official. The last Half my goal was to finish without walking and I completed in a quicker time than I anticipated. This time around my goal is to complete it in under 2 hrs, without walking. That would be shaving 18mins off my previous time. Think I can do it? Let's hope!

Words

In the last 24-hours Vienna has learned three new words and has been repeating them constantly. Okay, so maybe this isn't an amazing feat, but I'm a proud parent and I think my kid is a genius.

I always thought some of Vienna's first words would be things like "Drink," "Cup" or "Ball" -something along those lines.

Nope. She likes to say words like "Tickle" which she learned several weeks ago and still says all the time. She likes to walk up behind you and pat her hands on your back and say "Tickle, tickle, tickle."

But one of her new words is "Kick it."She started saying it last night when she was playing with her big pink ball. I got a little clipping today of her saying it over and over.

She helped me upload this and kept wanting to watch it again and again, and the whole time she kept repeating "kick it" over and over throughout the whole video...like she was cheering herself on.

Yesterday she also learned how to say "Dance." She keeps pulling the toy on her old baby bouncer that plays music and stomps her feet up and down saying "Dance, dance, dance!" Which in actuality sounds more like "Dats, dats, dats!"

And this morning she started saying "Shake," which sounds more like "thate."

It's so adorable, I can't hear her say them enough.

Sweets update

I can't believe how much time has passed since my last blog post- I feel like it's only been a few days, but in actuality it's been over a month. Sorry about that for those of you that are avid blog readers of mine. If there are any of you. ;)

What's kept me? To be honest, I have no idea. I guess things like busy weekends, being sick, running and small projects at home...just to name a few. Nothing extremely exciting, unfortunately.

I had a few reasons for starting this blog, one of them being a way to document and express things about my kid(s) that I wanted to remember in years to come. And as always there are new things to update about my little sweet girl, she grows like a weed and changes constantly, I can hardly keep up.

1. She's gotten very good about communicating. She's really using the signs she knows, which are: "please," "more," "eat," and she just learned "thank you." She also knows "baby" but that's not a common thing she has the need to communicate. When she wants to eat she tells me so by signing, not screaming, which is awesome. When she wants something she really does a good job communicating it by hand motions and little noises, instead of screaming, which is awesome. Not to say she never screams, because she does, sometimes.

She has started doing this thing that when she wants to go somewhere that she's not allowed to go by herself - like down the stairs - she comes and finds you and takes your hand and brings you there herself. It's so cute that it's nearly impossible to stay no.

2. At fourteen-months she can say: "Mom," "Dad," "Hi," "Tickle," "Bye," "Yay," "Night," & "Hot." She has also started eating with utensils.

3. She has begun trying to climb everything. Onto toys, into baskets...everything. One thing about Vienna that we've noticed as she's growing is that she likes to be sure of herself before really trying to do something that is daring. Like walking; I think she could've walked sooner than she did, she was sturdy and would walk like a pro with the help of a hand, but she wasn't sure of herself to try to take a step on her own - until one day she decided she was ready and then just started walking and never really crawled again. Same with climbing, she's had the ability to do it for awhile but she didn't really start climbing until she was certain that she could do it confidently. And when she gets it, she has no fear. She loves to climb up and down off our bed and up and down the stairs.

4. She is constantly on the go. All the time. She never stops.

5. She has become quite the personality. I love to see her little personality coming to life more and more and it's fun to see the different things that interest her and how she works. She lovesmusic. Loves it. And loves to dance. Nearly every time she hears some sort of beat she starts dancing - which her dance moves seem to change from stomping her feet up and down rapidly to turning in circles or bounces her body up and down. She also loves the piano...we walk into my parents' house and the first thing she goes for is the piano - she loves to play with her uncle.

5. She has also started this new laughing thing where she just walks around and laughs, for no reason. Not like a baby giggle but a downright belly-adult-like-laugh. It's so funny.

6. One thing I've discovered is that she's very transparent. When she's happy, she's happy. When she's mad, she's mad. Etc. And there's not much of an in-between. And there's also not much that can be done to change it. I do have to say that she's a happy little girl most of the time though...and likes to be very expressive about things that entertain her.

7. Vienna, a.k.a. Bina, Beanie-baby, V, Goose, & Sweets.

Best and Worst

I've been thinking a lot lately about the fact that we have to move this Spring. I don't like moving- packing boxes, cleaning, unpacking boxes, cleaning...and so on. I have mixed feelings about moving out of this place, on one hand it's exciting to move somewhere new...on the other hand, this is our home and it's sad to think about not living here anymore. This has been the best and the worst place to live. The worst because we are literally sharing a house with college guys, there is only a door at the top of the stairs that separates their living from ours...and though it is locked from both sides you can imagine that the sound barrier isn't nearly as good as living in a duplex or an apartment. So we've heard our share of things and there has been times where this place has not felt like home and we've just wanted to leave. But on the other hand, it has been the best place because so many other times it has felt so much like home and we have had so much fun here, there have been so many times that we've been so thankful to live here. I searched for months to find a place to live when we moved from Indiana over a year-and-half ago. There wasn't much to choose from, Andy and I couldn't agree on anything until we found this place. It was in our budget and so nice, I instantly fell in love with it. It's a house that we would never be able to afford to buy, but renting out half of it we could afford and we were so thankful to move in. It is spacious, fairly modernized, minutes from town but feels like country living, and is on a lake. I have always dreamed of living on a lake- I mean honestly, if I could describe my dream home, it would be set on a lake. So I will be so sad to leave solely for that reason, but so glad to leave for the sake of our sanities. It's a mixed up situation. :) I'm crossing my fingers that we'll be able to do a month-to-month lease through the summer and the guys move out once school is over and we have the place all to ourselves (we did last summer and it was glorious!) But I seriously doubt that will happen. We definitely won't stay if anyone lives downstairs. I'm fairly positive that we won't live here past May...so that means we need to find a new place to live, *sigh* I guess I should start looking. Well, I won't forget this place and the view...here's a few great sunrises/sunsets I've got to stare at through my living room window.

Maybe if I'm ambitious I'll take some pictures of our house, inside and out, and post them. I'm not making any promises though. :)

Afternoons

The fact that it takes two hours for Vienna to fall asleep for her afternoon nap is getting REALLY old. Cuz that's exactly what I want to do every afternoon is struggle with a crabby and tired little girl trying to tell her that naps are good, they are our friends...and she would feel much better if she'd just relax and give into them.

Ugh. Seriously. It leaves me so exhausted. I'm so tired of it. I really don't know what to do.

Will Vienna ever not have sleep issues? I mean...if it's not one thing its the other. Now that she sleeps through the night she's decided that naps are no good. I don't even know how long this has been going on for...I don't remember when it started. At first I thought it was just her teeth...she's been a teething machine for the past 2+ months. She's currently working on 2 of her molars...but I know when her teeth are bothering her, and this isn't teeth.

I've considered only putting her down for one nap a day...and tried, but that's no good either. She's so tired in the morning, her morning nap is hardly ever an issue...she conks right out usually around 9:00am and sleeps for about an hour, give or take. If I don't lay her down she's done by eleven o'clock and if I stretch it until noon or even 1 (unlikely) she only sleeps for an hour and that's it, and is crabby for the rest of the day.

So we try, and try, and try...for an afternoon nap. Most days she ends up taking it, just after a two hour struggle. She can be so tired before I try laying her down...but as soon as she knows its nap time she fights it. I've tried keeping her up longer and laying her down at a later time...but it's still a fight. I feel like I've tried everything...

Nap time begins with a little cuddling/rocking and song, I usually hold her until she's sleepy and lay her in her crib and will rub her back or face until she falls asleep. This process (in the morning) usually only take 10mins. Its a different story in the afternoon, she fights me the whole time I rock her...if I lay her down and try to rub her back she fights me. I've tried napping with her and laying with her but that's not effective either. I've tried crying...which makes it only worse. It gets to point where I feel like tossing her in her crib and hiding in my room underneath the blankets and crying, or freaking out myself. I'm not proud of the thought...I'm just being honest.

In the end she is usually so exhausted that I rock her (for the umpteenth time) and she passes out. Why can't she just do that in the beginning? She's so tired from the start, is all that middle stuff really necessary? Everyday I go into nap time optimistically and think, okay...I know she's tired, maybe if I just spend extra time in the beginning rocking her, or, laying with her until she's 100% sleeping, or etc. No matter how committed, or how much patience or how invested I am in her during nap time, nothing works.

My body is physically sore from rocking a 20 lb child all afternoon. I'm emotionally spent. And I feel so guilty that we go through this everyday...I feel like I'm scarring her for life or something. My mother told me I fought my naps when I was little...so I should, of all people, understand her. I understand the feeling of not being able to relax, it's difficult for me to sleep for that very reason, turning my mind off enough to rest. I understand the feeling of missing out, she's so go-go-go that I wonder if she thinks she's missing out on what's going on while she's in her room. I understand that...but yet, I don't know what to do about it.

Today, for instance, I tried from 1:45 until 3:45 when she finally fell asleep. In the end I'm resorting to venting my frustrations out on a blog post...

I would given anything for a big, comfy rocking chair.

And a piece of chocolate.

Dear Vienna,

A year ago today I met you for the first time. I will never forget it. I will never forget your birth, grabbing you and holding you to my chest for the first time. Your first moments of life where there, in my embrace, right where you belonged. I had waited so long to meet you and I couldn't even describe how happy I felt or how much love I instantly had for you. You were beautiful. You were perfect.

I had been up for 24+ hours, from start to finish labored naturally for 9 hours through the night and delivered you in water at 7:22 in the morning. I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep a wink all day...I couldn't stop staring at you. I couldn't stop cuddling you, you were finally here and I was so incredibly in love.

I will never forget the way you fit perfectly in my arms. I will never forget your baby smell, your soft skin, or the way your lips fell open slightly while you slept. We had some long days and some even longer nights, but I wouldn't trade a single moment with you for anything. I would stare at you at night when I got up to feed you and think about how lucky I was to have you in my life. I am so thankful for you and will be eternally grateful for the privilege of being your mother.

I have loved watching you grow this first year of your life, all of your first moments and things you've conquered. I will always remember the way that you crawled with your one leg straight like you were ready to stand up and start walking, or that day when you took your first steps. I won't forget your little dance moves and how much you loved music. Or how you use to stick all of your fingers in your mouth, or how you'd laugh when you'd look at yourself in the mirror. I'll always remember when you first learned how to give kisses, when you became attached to your blankie and when you learned to say "Mama" for the first time. One of my most favorite things was to see how excited you got whenever you learned to do something new, I am so proud of you.

You are such a sweet girl, so happy and so expressive. I love that about you; how your smile is so contagious and how you light up when you're happy or excited about something. You are beautiful and so full of life and I cannot even begin to describe how much love I have for you in my heart. You are my baby girl, my miracle baby...my love.

Happy Birthday.

Love,

Mommy

Bittersweet

I have a good reason for my lack of blogging, it is called: getting things done that I have put off for months. Things like...finishing Vienna's dresser that has been sitting my room since August...waiting to be sanded and painted. I don't totally love doing that sort of thing, but I must not mind it to an extent because it takes time and effort that I obviously invested. Plus it was free, so maybe that was part of it. I would post pictures but I forgot to take "before" pictures of it, so without a before picture it really wouldn't be very impressive. I'm done, that's all that matters.

Moving on.

I cannot believe that January is closer to ending than it is to beginning, which means we are rapidly approaching the big #1 for Vienna. Pretty exciting. :)

She has changed so much the last two weeks, I can't hardly believe it. Since she has been born there have been a few moments where I've experienced this over-night-change in my daughter, but never this big. Andy came home from work one day and said, "Wow, she seems so much more grown-up all of the sudden." We both noticed how she suddenly became a very obvious little toddler. Everything has changed from the way she looks, talks, interacts and plays...it's so fun to experience and witness, but slightly sad that my baby isn't so much a baby.

A few things that are different: #1. Her blabber is starting to sound like real words, like she's trying to talk in a little voice, not just baby gurgle. Granted, she still makes noises like a little bird, or a parrot, or a bear...but more often she sounds like she is talking, just can't quite pronounce the words yet. So far she can say "Mom(my)" "Dad(dy)" "Hi" and "Bye," clearly.

2. Playing. This was huge. A couple weeks ago she would flitter around the entire house walking from one thing to the next, and on and on...she never stopped, playing with one thing for a few moments, then another, and carrying things around with her. I can't even count how many times in the last two weeks I've noticed her being really quiet in the other room, too quiet...like she's getting into something she's not suppose to. So I peak my head around the corner to find her sitting nicely, playing with toys. Yet, it surprises me every time...like I'm shocked that she isn't sticking her hand in the trash or touching a houseplant or something. Nope. she's playing. Like a sweet little girl. You can see her mind working...like she starting to use her imagination to make toys do things. Its really kind of neat.

Along with her change in playing...she has become fascinated with books. She loves to look at books. She has started bringing us books to read and will sit through several little stories. (Or more often, the same story...on repeat.)

3. I'm not sure what it is about her appearance that has changed, but she just looks different. Could be the way she walks. She's developed the need for speed...she loves to walk super fast- and be chased by daddy. Maybe her hair is longer...or she's just bigger...I don't know. Maybe I think she just looks different because I just brought out her 18mo. clothes, even though most of them are still quite large on her...regardless, she looks older.

4. Another huge thing is herinteraction with us. Initiating to play with certain things, or wanting something. Her little looks that she gives. Playing along with things. It's like you can see it in her face that...she's beginning to get it. She loves to give kisses and give hugs. It's so cute...I tickle/rub her back or her face to put her to sleep and if I stop and she wants me to keep doing it she puts her hand on me and will rub it back and forth. Maybe I'm spoiling her, but I keep doing it...those are some of my favorite moments with her.

Every time she grows I have to say it is bittersweet. It is so awesome to see her develop and to see her learn things and communicate, but it's kind of sad to know that she is never going to be a little baby again.

Celebrating

Is it too late to blog about Christmas? It would seem weird if I didn't mention it. So much preparation for a blur of craziness for a week, and then...it's over. Regardless, it was still great.

Celebrating Christmas was a week long event for us this year. Though crazy, I prefer to stretch the time out with our families like that so we can all actually spend time together, instead of a quick stop here and there inside of day to scarf down some food, say hi and open a present.

We started celebrating Christmas a week beforehand by having Grandpa Paul (Andy's dad) over to our house for a Christmas roast dinner, complete with oozing chocolate cake while we enjoyed the evening chatting and watching a movie.

Then, we journeyed north to Grandma (Andy's mom) and Grandpa Cliff's house to spend a couple days there. Andy and I got to go on a movie date while V spent a little quality time with Grandma. In the morning everyone came over, both of Andy's brother's, their wives and their babies. We made brunch for his family and spent the day chatting with everyone and watching the three grandkids play, and trying to fit in their naps. It was the first time all three grandkids were all together at the same time, it was good to see everyone and of course when there are babies in the room - it's a good time! :) We sat down for a nice meal then opened gifts. The babies drew names (okay, the parents did it for them) and Vienna received some adorable pink cowboy boots, brown flowery shoes and a super cute twirly skirt from her cousin Evan. And of course lots of gifts from Grandma and Grandpa Cliff, her favorite is a girly firetruck that she can push around and ride on. Andy and I also received a lot of generous gifts, and loved the chaos of wrapping paper and boxes thrown all over the living room floor. But the time with family went by far too quickly and I found myself wondering where the day had gone as everyone left that evening. The next day we left earlier than we intended to because we got lots of snow that night and it was continuing all day. Thankfully the roads weren't too bad on the two hour drive home.

So then it was back home for us for a few days. Andy had to work up through Christmas eve and we wanted to spend Christmas morning at our house. Vienna must've known because she got up at 6am on Christmas morning. We exchanged gifts as a family, Vienna had a blast checking out every item, box, bow and piece of wrapping paper, I think she carried around a pair of socks in her mouth for most of the morning. I wasn't sure how she'd react to the present we got her, a little toy piano, I assumed she wouldn't care about the toy itself and like the wrapping paper better. But when she opened it...well, you'll can see for yourself...

After breakfast and a little last minute work Andy had to do, we traveled, once again up north, to Oma and Opa's house (my parents.) Christmas is the one time of year every single member of my immediate family is all together at the same time. Everyone arrived that day, all 19 of us (I have four siblings, 3 of which are married and have kids)...all crammed in one house...for a couple of days. Regardless of how that might sound, I love it. We chit chat, play games, take the kids outside, eat good food, sip on some wine or baileys, and try not to argue. lol. Just kidding, kind of. ;) The morning after we all arrived we woke up and had the kids gift exchange. They draw names and each have a present to open from someone. Then it's breakfast and dinner preparations. I do have to say that Christmas dinner this year was phenomenal. Everything from the turkey, to the sweet potatoe pie, whiskey glazed carrots...right down to the green bean casserole...it was delicious. My brother's comment: "When you make noises while you're eating, you know its good!" Unfortunately I didn't let Vienna indulge in the tasty dinner because when I let her experience thanksgiving, she was up screaming that night with gas pains. So she stuck to more simple food...like sweet potatoes without all the added yumminess (like butter and sugar). She did get to savor the turkeythough.

Anyways, after putting the kids to bed we had an adult gift exchange. For years we have each drawn a name prior to Christmas (parents included) girls draw girl names, boys draw boy names, and then when we exchange them and take turns watching each other open their present. Two things I love about this: first, I love being able to put more thought into the gift I give...and second, I love watching each person open their gift, especially this year - my sister Heidi was pretty excited about what I got her. :) Makes me happy. Andy received a hunting knife (which he is now obsessed with) and a cool sweater from my brother Nathan. And my sister Kayla gave me a string of pearls (which she scored an insanely good deal on) and a super cute shirt.

And then there's one more day, it's tradition - not sure why, but the day after we celebrate Christmas, the "kids" go out. A little shopping for the girls while the guys go to a movie. In the past Oma and Opa have watched the grandkids, but seeing that there are now 8 of them, 3 being babies, we took turns going out...the guys watched the kids while the girls shopped in the morning, then everyone met up for lunch...the girls took the kids home and then it was guys turn for a movie. It was a busy day! Considering my parents live an hour away from town...two hours were spent just driving.

And then the next day it was home.

And to top it off, that week alone Vienna popped in two more teeth. Which involved, but was not limited to, two days of a fever, and three very long sleepless nights.

*sigh* I'm spent. Aren't you?

Successful socks

I never even thought about making my own Christmas stockings until my sister mentioned it a couple weeks ago, and I thought..."ya know, it really can't be that hard." I was in the hunt for a stocking for Vienna anyway and I didn't totally love mine and Andy's current stockings. But I really didn't want to spend a lot of money...

I did a little searching online on "how to" and came across this great 3-part video tutorial. I decided I'd give it a try and took off to the fabric store. That was a nightmare. Screaming child, understaffed store, so many decisions....ugh. Needless-to-say I didn't want to step foot inside that fabric store again for a very long time. But I walked out with some great material and accessories and ideas for my stockings.

I basically followed the video with a few exceptions:

1. I didn't use the adhesive material.

2. I made the outside of my stocking the same length as the inside lining as I wanted to roll my stocking over to create the cuff.

3. I attached the loop to the inside lining instead of the outside.

I'm really no sewing savvy, so trust me when I say this is super easy. If I could figure it out and make alterations of my own, it really can't be that hard. And the best part, it doesn't have to be perfect sewing...or cutting. The first stocking took the longest because I wasn't sure exactly what I was doing, but the second two were a breeze. Seriously, so simple.

I spent $30 for all the supplies...that included thread, all the accessories and the material. I'm super happy with the way they turned out. I love them. The only thing missing is names, I'd still like to add our names to the cuffs, in a non-cheesy-nice-looking-sort-of-way, but I'm not too sure how to do that. So maybe that'll be a project for next year.

Daddy's stocking:

Mommy's stocking (can't decide whether to put a bow on it or keep it off...)

Vienna's stocking

Yep. I'm super happy with the way they turned out!

St. Nick's Day

Growing up in my family, one of the traditions to our holiday season was St. Nick's Day. Most people I've ever mentioned "St. Nick's Day" to have had no idea what I'm talking about. It's a European tradition, I'm honestly not too sure how common it is in the U.S...but my Mom is from Germany and grew up with this tradition and then carried it on into her own family. It's pretty simple really, you put your boot outside the door on December 6th (you can even go as far as leaving your "Christmas wish list" in the boot) and St. Nick comes along (takes the letter) and fills the boot with goodies. I loved it when I was little, going outside and finding your boot filled with candy! What little kid wouldn't love that?

Of course there's more to the story behind why St. Nick's day exists, but that's something a simple google search could answer for you...I'm not going to go into the whole story. But it was fun, and we decided to do St. Nick's Day with Vienna.

"St. Nick" filled V's boot with Gerber Arrowroot cookies (since she's too little for candy & chocolate) and a Christmas bib...

...V discovered the goodies in her boot...

...in which she shoved an entire cookie into her mouth.

Does anyone else celebrate St. Nick's day?

Oh Christmas tree...how lovely are your branches

I love this time of year. I know everybody says that, blah-blah-blah, but I really do. I love snow. I love Christmas music. I love the food. I love picking out gifts for people. Everybody is so happy this time of year most people are so happy this time of year....everything, I love it all.

Last year at this time I was super pregnant and I was thankful for the Holidays to distract me as we anticipated the arrival of our baby - they flew by, to my delight. This year they're flying by again, and I wish I could slow it down. But I think I've come to the conclusion that this time of year will always go by fast. That's just the way it is.

One of my favorite holiday traditions is picking out and decorating a Christmas tree. Growing up we never had a fake tree, we always had real ones. And I refuse to get a fake tree, I just love real ones too much...I love hunting for the perfect tree, cutting it down, bringing it home, smelling that spruce aroma...mmmm.

This Christmas is extra special as it is our first Christmas with a kid. Yes, I have a kid...it still feels weird to say that. The anticipation of the Holidays is so much more exciting with Vienna as part of our family. She's experiencing this all for the first time...it's so fun. Over Thanksgiving weekend we went to the Bentlyville lights display, V loved looking at all the lights. We also got our Christmas tree and brought it home to decorate. (Okay, so mommy and daddy decorated while Vienna napped.) And topped it off with a cup of hot cocoa and some Christmas music. Of course Mom has to document everything with pictures.

(Except Bentlyville....because my camera died right when we got there...) :( boo

Picking out a tree!

Taking it home...this is a classic "Mom, put me to bed" look.

Waking up from nap and seeing the tree for the first time!

Blankie love

I intended my next blog post to be about the holiday weekend...but I couldn't resist posting this quick...a new little obsession Vienna has.

Her blankie.

Okay, so the fact that she likes her blankie isn't new...ever since she was born she loved to sleep with a blanket by her face, swaddled...cuddled. But the extent of her obsession is quite new. The last few days she's been walking around like this:

All of the time. She'll go find it lying on the floor in her room or on the couch...and will walk around the house clutching it with a look a utter happiness.

When she discovers it lying on the floor, or if she loses her grip and it falls...she does this:

It's adorable.

I'm starting to think it might be a good idea for me to hunt down another blanket exactly like this...so that if it ever gets ruined, too worn out or lost...I can replace it.

So that's all. Now I'll have to actually blog about the holiday weekend since I've already mentioned it.

Baby steps

So. Today my baby decided to start walking.

She started the day off with refusing to take a step on her own (we've been trying to get her to let go of our hands when we walk with her for a few weeks...she wouldn't have it, even though she's barely been using our hands for support for awhile.) I've been telling Andy for the last week that she could totally walk, she just didn't have the confidence in her balance yet. Yesterday she tried moving one foot a few times. but then would give up. I guess that's kind of like a half-of-a-step...right?

I pulled out my camera to take some pictures of her in her cute little pigtails, and she of course wanted to hold my camera...that was when she took her first step to try to get it. Yay - we of course we're thrilled and proud parents to witness our daughters first steps.

That was lunch time. Throughout the day she kept taking one step here and two steps there, but I couldn't get her to do more.

Then suddenly after supper we were all sitting in the living room, and Vienna was just kind of playing by herself when she decided she'd start putting more steps together on her own. Again, proud parents get all excited and pull out the video camera and cheer her on. :)

Within the hour she mastered walking a good ten steps before falling down and had become noticeably faster at it. She just kept doing it over and over and you could tell by the expression on her face that she thought it was pretty cool.

I think that was actually my favorite part - seeing how excited she was that she was learning how to do it by herself.

My predication is that she'll have it pretty well mastered in a week. She was that way with everything else - sitting up, pulling herself up, standing...once she actually tried it she had it down within 1-2 weeks at the most. I'm not sure if this classifies as an official walker, but it'll be interesting to see how far she can get by her 10-month birthdate next week!

Good Eatin'

I have such a good little eater. And I am quite thankful.

Peas...squash...yogurt...eggs...black beans - you name it, she eats it without fuss. She has favorites, you can tell what she really likes...but she hasn't been picky about anything so far.

And suddenly one day she grabbed the sippy cup off the table and took a big drink, all by herself. I had no idea she knew how to do it on her own...she's getting so big.

I'm sure there will come a day when she becomes more selective about what she eats, but there's definitely no complaining about it now!

Such a good little happy eater :)

Something I've never done before

I've mentioned before that I am not athletic. And I mean it, I'm not...AT ALL. I always wanted to be that girl that could play a game of basketball or participate on a team of volleyball without being that one person whom everyone is secretly annoyed with and wished was never on their team. Or even run a simple mile without dying. I just didn't have it in me, I don't have the coordinating, the stamina, the natural talent or the ability to be good at sports.

But I wanted to be. Three years ago I decided to try running, and quickly realized, again, that I just wasn't made to be athletic. I tried to run but my lungs felt like they were on fire and my chest felt like it was going to explode. My husband started a running program with a friend, and being stubborn, wanting to get in shape and not wanting to be left behind...I decided to join them...regardless of how much I disliked it and the pain it inflicted.

I remember the very first time I ran a whole mile...sad, I know...but it was something I'd never done before and I felt pretty good with myself. Me, the girl who dropped out of HS basketball after two weeks, ran a whole mile. In fact, I even worked up to run 50 minutes...the program started at 10min runs and ended with a 50min run. I felt on top of the world when I completed it...though I hated every run that got me there. Sure, I felt great afterwards, but it took every ounce of me to complete that program...and there were definitely runs that I skipped, missed and just flat-out quitted.

I did a 5k, and couldn't complete it. Iknow...sad. I joked around that someday I'd run a half-marathon, secretly actually meaning it, but believing I never could or would. It was all too easy to stop running, and I did. Just got out of the habit...skipping one run, then another...and then it's so hard to get back into it again. I kept telling myself I'd start again, and I when I finally wanted to, my world went crazy for several months. I got pregnant, moved back to Minnesota, was "homeless" for awhile. And then finally when we moved into our own place and things settled down a bit I was too far along in my pregnancy to start an exercise that my body wasn't used to, so I waited.

I feel like most women who carry a baby for 9 months feel an increased urge to get in shape after labor. I have always been conscious of what I eat but I was determined to live a healthier lifestyle, that didn't just include eating healthy, but exercising too. So after a sufficient time of healing from labor, I changed my habits and started dabbling with running again. It was harder to start than before. My lungs didn't burn like last time, but my body was so out of wack from refraining from exercise for so long and from being pregnant and delivering a baby. Things hurt that I never knew could, and my muscles were non-existant. I had to start slow and to be honest it bothered me that I couldn't just up and run two miles. But I worked at it, and did a combination of running, weight lifting and yoga throughout the weeks.

At the beginning of summer my sister (who just started running for the first time in her life) got it in her head to do a half-marathon. We talked about running it together, and I had every intention of starting the training right along with Heidi. But, I didn't. I talked myself out of it. My biggest reason was that I wasn't getting a sufficient amount of sleep to stick with a training plan that required runs I couldn't miss, and I had no idea how I'd even fit those runs in with my baby's non-existant schedule. That, and when it comes right down to it...I was afraid that I just couldn't do it.

But I kept running. 2-3 times a week...with the occasional week here and there with 0 runs. I was doing mostly 2-3 miles at a time. At one point I did actually complete a personal best of running 5 miles, it felt like such a great accomplishment...I'd never run that far before. I remember feeling that way after completing my first mile ever. And I began to realize that I actually liked running. It wasn't just a form of exercise anymore...it was more.

Seven weeks ago my crazy sister decided she was going to run another half-marathon, a fun Halloween race called "Monster Dash." Up to this point I'd given up the idea of running a half, and had pretty much decided that I never would. But I found myself considering it again, and the more I thought about it the more I knew I really wanted to do it. I felt confident that maybe it was a good time to try, and so I searched the internet for a 7-week training program and started the schedule. The list of runs was intimidating...adding a mile every week seemed impossible on paper...but I was determined to try. I didn't officially sign-up for the race until a few weeks into the training program, just to make sure that it was something I was actually going to stick with.

I was excited to start training, and from the beginning I found myself looking forward to my runs. The more I ran, the more I liked it. It was down-time that I could get away and think, get in a zone and clear my head. I felt great after the runs, and that feeling was addicting. Now, don't get me wrong...I didn't look forward to every run, there were definitely those I dreaded. And many were very challenging. There were several runs that I thought would be the end my training, and there were times when I believed it impossible to add another mile in only the course of a week. My 7-mile run was, by far, the worst run throughout the entire program. I went in the afternoon and was pumped and mentally prepared to go. I started running, and, like all my runs - the first two miles sucked. But it wasn't just the warming-up process and getting into the rhythm this time, it was the fact that I was burping up lunch. Yeah, ish. By mile three I was fighting the urge to throw up every time I burped. I kept telling myself that eventually the feeling would go away and to keep running...stick with it. So I pressed on and pushed myself another 3 excruciating miles, telling myself the entire time "Don't throw up, Kristy, don't you dare throw up." Well, just before mile 6 I didn't have a choice, my body took over and I had to stop on the side of the road. Not once...four times. I felt gross and was so mad that I didn't make it the full 7 after pushing myself so hard. I felt utterly disgusting for the rest of the day, and need-less-to-say running 13.1 miles felt impossible after that.

There were ups and downs throughout my training, and two weeks leading up to my race I was getting pretty discouraged. I was getting a side-ache every time I ran, when I ran 9 miles with a side-ache the whole way I was positive I couldn't complete 13.1 miles like that. My goal for the race was to finish without walking (except for water-breaks,) and to run it under 2hrs and 40mins. And as race day approached I was really anxious about every aspect, the weather had been icky for a couple weeks, cold, rainy...it even snowed. I was crossing my fingers that there wouldn't be snow on race day andthat my persistent side-ache wouldn't show up.

The night before the Monster Dash we looked up the expected temperature feel for 8:30am the next morning...it said 32 degrees. Brrrr. It was tricky picking out something to wear...I didn't want to freeze the whole time, but I didn't want to dress too warm either. I slept horrible that night, (not to mention I'd slept even worse the night before.) And when I woke up on race day I was so nervous.

We (my sister Heidi, her husband Steve and myself) got outside and were happy to see there wasn't frost on the ground...and were pleased to find the temperature at 40 degrees. (Hey...every degree makes a difference when we're talking about cold.) When we got to the lake where the race started it felt much cooler with the wind coming off the lake. We walked up and down the start lane to keep warm and were entertained by all the different racers in their Halloween costumes. I had no intention of running with Heidi and Steve as I was slower than they, but on race day I was feeling brave and lined up next to them with the 10:16 pacer and decided to stick with them as long as I could. I was so ready for the race to start, just so I could start running to warm up.

There were thousands of racers...and the first couple miles I was occupied with trying to stay with Heidi and Steve and get into rhythm with the pace. I instantly got my cursed side-ache and thought I wouldn't be able to run the whole race at this pace. But I knew from experience that I needed to make it through the first couple of miles before I really could tell how things were going. By mile three I was feeling pretty good - the pace felt great and my side-ache was mostly gone. We lost Steve at a water-break but caught up with him around mile 6 when we saw our families cheering us on. Around mile 8 I was getting tired and was looking forward to seeing our families at mile 9. As 9 approached there was no sign of our "cheer squad" and I realized that they must've skipped all the way to the finish line, which, by the way, we could see. It was discouraging to pass the finish line and seeracers at the end of their race and know I still had 4 miles to go before I could stop. You could also see the entire lake we still had to run around and I thought that there was no possible way I would make it around the whole thing. But I kept with it, after passing mile 10 and running up a hill I realized I'd officially run further than I ever had before...just random thinking to take my mind off the fatigue. I was still with Heidi and Steve and was getting to the point where I had to mentally stay in the game. My side-ache flared up again, which did on and off throughout the previous miles, but it wasn't going away this time. Steve kept encouraging to keep going and as I rounded mile 11 I told myself there was no way I wasn't going to finish this race...I'd worked to hard to quit now. My lungs started burning. Everywhere around me people were stopping to walk. I passed them and looked at them longingly thinking maybe I should just stop and walk too. There were no crowd cheerers on the side of the road (amazing how strangers yelling "Go runners!" can seriously boost morale)...I was exhausted and it felt like these last couple miles were taking forever. I was looking forward to the last water station to feel a boost from the cold liquid coursing down my throat...and the helpers were shouting that there was only a mile-and-a-half left...and I thought, "I got this. I'm finishing.It's not that far." So even though I desperately wanted to walk, I kept running. At last I rounded the corner which led to the finish line and there were hundreds of people shouting and screaming that the end was just up ahead. I could hear the music and cheering, and the adrenaline kicked in. I don't think I could've stopped myself from sprinting...I was so excited to finish, after all, it meant that I could STOP. It felt great to pass the finish line. I couldn't help myself but to throw my arms up in the arm in triumphant. (Yeah, I'm a nerd.)

I did it! Something I always wanted to do, but never thought I could. I completed 13.1 miles in 2hrs-18min-15secs. That is 20mins faster than my goal time, and I ran 10min-33sec miles, which is definitely faster than I'd been running my long miles in training. (I know that's not that impressive, especially to those who are running pro's...but it's good for me!) Before the half-marathon I was thinking of tackling a full marathon, but after running 13.1 miles and knowing that to complete a marathon I'd have to turn around and run back to the start line, I'm not so sure anymore. But I think another half is definitely in my future!

The high

What's on my mind? Running. That's what. I am nearing the end of my half-marathon training, and am getting pretty excited to run the 13.1 in two weeks! I am slightly nervous, because I've never done anything like this before...ever. And I desperately don't want to be the last one to finish.

I wanted to run a half earlier this summer with my sister, but it just wasn't a good idea with the amount of sleep I was getting and the ups and downs of having a new infant in the house who had an up and down schedule. I was really bummed. But then five weeks ago my sister said she was doing another 13.1 (because she's just awesome like that) and got a fire underneath my butt to run it too. I'd been running all summer, but just 2-3 miles at a time, and a very occasional 4...I think I did a 5 once. So I was kind of nervous to start training with only 7 weeks to go, but I gave it shot and am on track and fired up to run!

I'm not a very athletic person, actually...I'm not, AT ALL. But I really enjoy running. I am obsessed with the feeling after I run. It's like a high. I feel so energetic and good and alive, and to be honest - this last Wednesday when it came to my rest day, I was actually disappointed that I didn't have a run that day and craved it. Weird, I know.

My brother-in-law is training for this half-marathon too, and I loved a comment he said about the training process: "Every week you do something you never thought you could do." It's so true, it's such a great feeling of accomplishment every week. I've never run 8 miles before in my life...and last Saturday I did, without trouble, and felt fantastic. I am so glad that I decided to do this, it's been tough, I've pushed myself, had bad runs and good ones, and I still have two big runs to tackle before the big day...but I'm looking forward to my 9-mile tomorrow. This next week is my biggest running week...which will be complicated because Andy is out of town and Vienna doesn't nap long enough to run 5 & 7 miles on a treadmill (which I am dreading running on the treadmill for that long anyways...I'd rather run outside.) SO, I either have to push the stroller for that long, which is basically out of the question, run after she goes to bed at night or go in the morning before she gets up, which would entail starting to run at 5:30am. Blah. Or figure something else out...

Regardless, two weeks left - 13.1 here I come!

Healthy cookies

Okay, so I realize that the word "healthy" and "cookie" don't really have much in common...but these are as close as they come with still tasting delicious. I discovered this recipe on the back of my Muesli bag and thought I'd give it a try and I loved them! They are super yummy and don't make me feel icky like normal cookies do after I eat them. Andy really likes them too, which is saying something because he typically doesn't like any "healthy" treats that I make - like bran muffins. So, I'm glad to have discovered a guilt-free, good-tasting, semi-healthy cookie that I can indulge. :)

Chocolate Chip Muesli Cookies

1 Cup Bob's Red Mill Muesli (I buy it at Super One)

3/4 Cup sifted Whole Wheat Flour

2/3 Cup Applesauce (I use one without the added sugar)

3/4 Cup Brown Sugar

6 oz. package Chocolate Chips

1/2 tsp. Baking Soda

1/2 tsp. Salt

1/2 tsp. Vanilla

1 Egg

Heat oven to 375. Sift flour, baking soda and salt together and set aside. Blend applesauce, sugar and vanilla together. Beat in egg. Add flour mixture and mix. Stir in Muesli and chocolate chips. Drop by tablespoonfuls on lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake for 10-12 minute. (Makes about 2 dozen cookies.)

Super yummy!

Good riddance

Dear tricky no-good-can't-live-without-you piece of plastic,

We can live without you. Though we are grateful for the moments that

you saved our sanity, we are all-to-pleased that your service is no longer

necessary.

Sincerely, Kristy

If you haven't guess...we are pacifier free!! Officially. Have been for more than a week! It's over. It's done. The excruciating pacifier weaning process is complete.

Thank. God.

And as a result...we have a baby who is sleeping better! I feel we are very close to sleeping through the night, (I've been spoiled by a couple nights of this since the pacifier has been gone). There's been a big improvement from a few weeks ago. And not just at night, but naps too. She's getting in solid naps again and is back to putting herself to sleep. Oh goody!

I'm pretty happy 'bout this, if you can't tell.

Funny the things parents get excited about... :)

Little girlies

Four days. Four girls. And one lucky man.

We watched our nieces, Trynica and Berlin, while my sister and brother-in-law took a short vacation through the weekend. Andy and I had a chance to experience what it would be like to have three little kids girls. Andy, of course, was sold on the idea. ;)

The girls had a blast, even though they missed their parents. It's hard for little ones to be away from their mommy and daddy, so I tried to keep them occupied to make it a little easier for them. So we painted pumpkins...

In which the girls proceeded to be very meticulous in their own artistic way. They were so proud of their pumpkins!

We baked cookies to bring home to mommy and daddy. It's amazing how entertaining watching a mixer can be... :) Of course, their favorite part was licking the mixing spoons.

We played outside, went out for ice cream, watched movies, played games, played princesses, helped Andy set up a tent...and played with Vienna. Vienna adores her cousins, she was so excited to see them every time she got up in the morning and from nap, and the girls loved entertaining her. One of their favorite things to do was to make her laugh...Tryn kept saying, "I want her to smile at me!" They played so well together - they all had fun!

The battle

Do you ever feel like you have no idea what your doing? As a parent, I mean?

I do. In this specific situation, I have to admit I feel that way.

So here's the predicament: the pacifier. Its the culprit, that tricky little no-good-can't-live-without-you piece of plastic. Sigh.

I know everyone has their own opinion, and of course there is that good ol' truth that 'every kid is different'...with that said, this is where I stand: I have a love-hate relationship with the pacifier. Well, more of a hate at this particular moment in time. V has had her pacifier since she was 2 weeks old. At first I gave it to her only if she got really fussy and at bedtime/naptime. Then I started only giving it to her when she went to bed/nap. (And occasionally in public if she got real fussy and it was close to nap time.) There have been so many times that I've been so thankful that she took a pacifier, but in the back of my mind I was dreading the day I had to take it away.

I really didn't want her to have it long, I knew that the sooner I took it away the better. Her use of it began with a need, more than a choice on my part. Like a lot of babies, Vienna found so much comfort in sucking when she was first born, it was a fight to get her to take a pacifier instead of her fingers (I knew fingers would be harder to wean her from...and since I was a thumb-sucker as a child, I wanted to spare her of this.) In the back of my mind I'd always told myself that I'd wean her of the pacifier by the time she was a year-old. Hopefully.

Every day with children is different, there is no two days the same, and I've learned that when you think you've got something down...they change on you. Like sleeping.

Er...maybe we never really had that down.

Regardless. At first it was the rocking....check, got over that obstacle. We were in a great groove. For awhile.

But then something else becomes an obstacle...like nursing. Getting up to eat more frequently than necessary. Okay, finally got over that one too...we're in the clear.

Wrong.

Next, it's the pacifier. I really feel like she is dependent on it out of habit now, instead of sole comfort and need. Some nights I can't count on one hand how many times I get up out of bed, walk to her room and stick the pacifier back in her mouth because she woke up without it in...then she'd instantly go back to sleep. Recently it's been quite an issue. Which made realize that maybe it was time to take it away. My theory was that if I could get her weaned off her pacifier then she wouldn't wake up wanting it, and could potentially sleep through the night. Well...it's a theory at least...I have yet to see it happen.

It's only been a couple days...but it has been two of the longest days of my life. And I am contemplating wether this is worth it or not. I keep telling myself if I just give up and try again later then I have wasted all of this effort and it's all been for nothing. Sigh.

It makes me wish she never had it in the first place.

To make matters worse, she is sick...has a icky snotty nose. At first I was going to give her the pacifier because the poor thing is sick and what terrible timing is it on my part to make her go through the weaning process...but then, her nose was so stuffy that she couldn't really suck on it anyway... so that made me think maybe this IS the time. But geez...I feel like a mean mommy. It's been rough, and I'm trying to tune into her needs and am finding it hard to distinguish between sickness and/or lack of pacifier and what to do. I have no idea what I'm doing...if I'm doing this right...if I should just forget it...or....what. I don't know. I'm starting to think my daughter just doesn't like to sleep. Ever.