"Homesick", hormonal, or just plain tired?

It's an odd situation to be in, the one where you're in-between leaving an old life and starting a new one. We've been in Minnesota now for nearly four weeks, and of course are thankful to be fortunate enough to receive Andy's promotion and have the generosity of family to stay with, but it hasn't felt like we're actually living here yet. At least not to me. Last night I was struck with the realization that I had an entire life back in Indiana, and as I see pictures of my friends carry on with their life - the life that I normally would be part of - it makes me sad to think I'm not there. Regardless I would miss that and them, but I think it's a little more difficult since we haven't settled into a home here yet, and are having a hard time finding one, and that I haven't lived the normal daily things that I typically do. If I think about it... it has been an overload of constant stress for the last two+ months. First with packing, finishing up jobs, saying goodbyes, trying to sell our house... to the actual moving part, being away from Andy for two weeks, searching for a house, looking at house after house to be disappointed, living out of suitcases, and feeling like I'm intruding on the lives of those I'm staying with. :) So maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe I'm just hormonal.

The day has come!

On Sunday I thought I felt the baby move while driving in the car for 3 hours to my brother's house (my temporary place of residence). But it ended up being just gas.

Nice.

All day yesterday something strange was happening with my tummy and my chest, and I couldn't really figure out what was going on. I asked my sister-in-law what her heartburn felt like when she was pregnant and realized that I was having heartburn. It felt like someone was pushing on my chest and I slightly had a hard time breathing. Part of the problem solved. At 10 o'clock at night I was sitting on the couch by myself, everyone had already gone to bed, and my stomach lurched again - suddenly it finally hit me that I'd been feeling the baby move all day! YAY!!! I've been so excited to feel that from the moment I found out I was pregnant. And by the time I realized it everyone was in bed and I didn't have anybody to share it with. ;) That's okay, it's been fluttering quite a bit today again- very cool :)

Watch, I probably won't be saying that in a month or two when its constantly kicking me, but I'm enjoying it for now!

Also, my sister-in-law's midwife told her that if you can pinpoint what day you first feel your body move and then count five months from that day - that's your due date. Not sure if that's true or not, but if it is I'd be a couple weeks early! A girl can hope, right? :) But I've already programmed in my head the baby won't be born until February... that way if I'm on time, or early (not likely), I'll be surprised.

The Process

Well, it's two weeks later and I am still exhausted and stressed. I don't think that feeling will stop until we finally settle into our own place. After staying with my parents for two weeks while Andy traveled to Chicago, and back and forth from Minneapolis for training, we moved in with my brother and his family. We are only an hour away from Andy's work and our soon-to-be home town, hopefully things won't feel so stressful now that traveling has been cut back quite a bit.

I'm in the process of trying to find a home for us. I'm trying not to be too picky, but I want to like where we live if we're going to be there for the next year or two. I really don't want to live in apartment. It's really hard to go from owning a big whole home to moving into a smaller place, and I really had my hopes set on finding a house to rent. But so far, nothing. I have one option, an apartment that only has four units in the building and its outside of town and even has a nice view of a lake, but just the fact that its an apartment is stopping me from getting it. I don't love it, there is a couple of things I don't like about the place - I can't paint, which isn't a surprise, but I really wanted to do a nursery for the baby, so I'm a little bummed about that. And the layout of the living room is kind of impractical, and there is a couple of other things I dislike. Am I being too picky? I figured if I don't find a place by the end of this week then we'll probably just take that place. It just doesn't scream "home" to me, but then I'm not sure if anything will until I've lived there for awhile.

Who knows.

I'm still crossing my fingers for a house! :)

Cold and Exhausted.

We made it. After a not-so-fun week of packing, finishing work, saying goodbyes and 14 hrs of traveling I am left completely exhausted. I am glad to be in Minnesota finally after all the preparations to move, but its friggin' cold! You Minnesotan's weren't joking when you said it has been a crazy non-summer by being colder than usual. I've cuddled with a blanket all day - apparently it was around 62 ish degrees our first day here. Whoo. Hoo. It's August, seriously? 62 degrees? Sigh. Well, it'll be an adjustment for awhile, not having a permanent place to live just yet, colder weather, living out of suitcases... I am glad to be here though, I just desperately need to relax for a little bit and recover and I will be a much happier camper. Sleep. Sleep....ah how lovely you sound.

My first baby shower

Monday night I hop in the car with a couple friends to meet some other ladies for a "girls' night" while Andy went with his friends for a "guys' night," one last hoo-rah before we move this weekend. We get to one of my favorite restaurants in town (a unique old-style restaurant that used to be used as a brewery) and once inside I discovered that this "girls' night" is actually in fact a baby shower for me! A total surprise, I had no idea. Who typically gets a baby shower at only 13 weeks along? I felt so loved and so honored that they did that for me. My friends said they wanted to do something since I was leaving, they've been praying for this baby almost as much as I have been- so I know they're disappointed not to be able to see it when it arrives and see me get big and pregnant! It was such a blessing and a fun night.

I felt so special. :)

My friends here are great. I am truly going to miss life here and the people most of all. Can't I just pack them up with me and take them along? ;)

Baby Bump 13 weeks!

Garage Moving Sale

I am having a moving sale right now, its the first sale I've ever done by myself. Its a little tricky to attend to the stream of people coming to shop at the sale and try to do necessity things like use the bathroom, or eat. On top of that with being pregnant I get really sick when I get too hungry and I of course make more frequent trips to the bathroom. So much fun.

I'm typically a huge fan of garage/yard/moving sales. Scoring deals on things like kids clothes for instance: people sell things for 25cents, things their kids only wore once or twice and grew out of. I love buying basically brand new things for a fraction of its original cost. Granted, you do have to do some searching and there are a lot of junk thing and sales.

I've put on four garage sales in the last five years. Its a lot of work to put together, organize and price things, but it has always been worth it, walking away with profits of hundreds of dollars for getting rid of things that you never used anyway. I've always gotten good reviews from the garage sales I've participated in, comments like "Oh! This is nice stuff!" or "Wow, you sell really cheap." Or "I need to tell my friend about this sale!" That makes me feel good, not only because I'm getting rid of things and making money but because it appears to be helping and making someone's day because they scored a deal. I know I love it when I score deals- I'm glad I can do that for someone else.

However, this particular sale has been rather exhausting, boring, frustrating and not as pleasant as previous ones. I find myself more and more irritated with some people.

• Like when someone switches tags on your items, taking off the $1 sticker and putting on the 25 cent one from something else. Just ask if I'd take less... don't be dishonest about it.
• Or when someone asks if you'll take less and you say no or counter offer and they get pissed about it and walk off in a huff.
• Or when someone offers you $5 for an item that was $15 and you counter offer and then they turn around and counter that offer with "How about $6?" Umm...if I didn't take $5 why do you think I'd take $6. Seriously.
• Or how about when you total someone's purchase "It'll be $5 please," and they scrounge through their purse trying to come up with the amount and give you $3.50 claiming that's all they have and expect you to say "Okay, that's fine." Whatever, its just stuff, I gave them the deal.
• Or when that very person comes back that same day and buys more things. Hmm, maybe they have a Mary Poppins purse and money just magically appears in random amounts. No, she didn't offer to pay for the stuff I let her take.

Sigh. Don't you just love garage sales. :) Typically I do. But not today. I'm so ready for four o'clock to come.

News and a Story

Okay, first let me explain why I haven't blogged in awhile. My life has taken the turn for some life altering changes, one of which we were trying to keep a secret for awhile and the other because we weren't certain on yet. So every time I wanted to blog it involved either of the two things going on in my life- thus explains my absence.

Now, I'm back.

And I'm pregnant! (if you haven't heard yet)

We've wanted a baby for a long time (that's another whole story) and were surprised and thrilled to finally get a positive test result! I wanted to tell everyone right away but we really wanted to tell our families in person so we waited five long weeks for our scheduled trip back home and it was worth the wait to see everyones faces! So now that they know, everyone gets to know!

The other big news.... we're moving! My husband got promoted to run an office in Minnesota - which of course he is very excited about - they actually created the job for him so we were both completely blown away and thrilled. We always intended to move back to MN but didn't think everything would happen so suddenly and fall into place like it has. We are excited, though nervous, and I'm especially nervous because we're moving in less than three weeks! We just found out that they want him there earlier than we expected (we thought we'd have six weeks or so) but nope...only three! I'm slightly freaking out about everything that needs to get done in this short amount of time. This week especially is so incredibly busy I can hardly think. I'm consciously trying not to get stressed and to take it easy, and I keep telling myself that it's okay if not everything gets done. :)

So because of all this talk about moving I debated whether or not to go to the doctor/midwive here or wait until we move. When I first found out I was pregnant there was a possibility of us moving so I wanted to wait until it was more definite before I made a decision about going in. Mainly because I'm not on insurance and I'd have to go through the hassle of getting on state insurance just for one doctors visit only to move and try to get on insurance again. So I called up the hospital here and talked to a nurse and asked her if she could give me an honest opinion, I told her my situation and she said that if it were her she'd wait to see the doctor/midwife until she moved. If I was high risk or used some method to get pregnant I would've gone in in a heartbeat, but since I'm not and we didn't, we both felt comfortable waiting.

Don't yell at me. :) I know some would frown on that decision. But I feel comfortable about it and think I'm knowledgeable enough on prenatal care to be safe.

So I was talking to my boss yesterday about all of this (I work for a couple that are in the medical profession) and she didn't disagree with my decision, instead she made a startling offer and I was crossing my fingers in hopes that it would work out. She suggested that since she was supervisor that night at the hospital she could "sneak" me in and use the doppler on me to hear the heartbeat - though we weren't sure if we'd actually hear it since I'm only twelve weeks along. But I hoped!

I got the call that we could come in and try just as I was getting ready to go to bed (okay, it was only nine, but I had to get up at 4:45 this morning so I was trying to call it an early night.) We get there and a nurse pulls out the doppler and tries to search for the heartbeat, she told me if we couldn't find it not to worry, it didn't mean something was wrong it could just simply be too early to hear it. She rubbed that thing all over my tummy and my heart sunk when I realized we weren't finding anything. Then all of the sudden you could hear its speedy little heart racing its beat - it was amazing! Of course I knew and believed I was pregnant this whole time, but actually hearing your baby inside makes it so much more real! The nurse turned off the doppler and said, "Okay, now that I've heard that lets do an ultrasound." Andy almost freaked, just on the way in he said that it would be awesome if we could get an ultrasound done. I told him that it wasn't going to happen, my boss was pulling enough strings for me just to hear the heartbeat. So to our utter surprise when she announced that and pulls in this old ultrasound machine it was like Christmas morning! Seeing the baby was so amazing, I can't even describe it. There's actually a little life growing inside of me...wow. The baby never stopped moving, it was kicking its legs and arms everywhere and bouncing around. The nurse kept saying "Oh wow, that's a good shot" I guess our little baby was putting on a show for us and making sure we got to see its little arms and legs and freaky alien eyes. :) We got a few pictures, though they're not very good, she said the machine was old and didn't even know if the printer would work. But we got a couple shots nonetheless!

I was blown away. Totally unexpected and very very generous of my employer to do that for us. It was so exciting, not only because we got to see our baby, but because we weren't expecting it at all. I am so thankful to her for doing that for us, free! Wow, I feel truly blessed right now.

Camping

I grew up going camping every year with my family. It was a yearly family tradition and in general I loved it. The only thing I didn't love were the endless hours of fishing. I'm not talking about just a couple of hours on the boat...it was all day event, everyday. We came back to eat and that was about it. I still remember peeing in a bucket and pouring it over the side of the boat. My sisters and I would read through book after book trying to be quiet so as to not scare the fish away while our parents and brothers fished. I never really liked that part much when I was younger. However, as an adult I can honestly say I enjoy every part of camping- except the bugs. I do enjoy fishing now, as long as it's in moderation. I love, love, love being on the lake- especially at sunset and sunrise if I'm ambitious enough to get up early to go fishing with my dad and brothers, (this year I wasn't so ambitious.) I love lounging, relaxing and having no agenda. Campfires is a must, especially with s'mores.

Oh, and let me make one quick note about our family camping: we don't rough it. Sure, some of us sleep in tents, but my parents drive their RV and park it, so we've got a place to store lots of yummy food and supplies. We cook over a grill, not a campfire (even though I love the taste of campfire cooked food) we have pancakes and sausage for breakfast, and enjoy an endless supplies of snacks. We also have bathroom facilities and showers where we camp. Some say that's not true camping, but I choose to differ. I've done both types of camping and yes they are different experience, in my opinion it's all camping just the same!

Here are some pretty pictures I took on the boat:

And these are my adorable nephews. I had so much fun camping with them, they had a blast!

This is fearless Tyvan. He loved playing at the beach and tried to catch the duck that kept hanging around. When I say fearless, I mean fearless. Tyvie's first swimming experience was a face plant into the water- a minute later he was in the water and loving it. He had no fear looking over the edge of the boat- if someone hadn't been holding onto his life jacket at all times he probably would've went for a dip!

This is prince Brendyn with the prince crown I made out of flowers. He loved fishing, we were on the boat for three hours one night and he enjoyed every second of it. Could be because he caught five fish! He caught more than anyone that night. He loved reeling them in but didn't want to touch them.

Andy didn't have too much luck fishing- he was getting so frustrated not catching anything so he decided to use Brendyn's kiddie pole since Brendyn had so much luck. Haha! This makes me laugh. :) He ended up catching a few throughout the whole trip.

All in all, camping was a blast. We went home utterly exhausted. Inconsistent sleep, being outside 24/7 and weather changes from cold to hot definitely wears a person out. I got home, laid in bed just to catch my breath from bringing in luggage and was out within twenty seconds! I'm still recovering. :)

My Nieces

The last two days I've been able to enjoy some time with my sister Heidi and her two girls at our parent's house. I love my family and have so much fun spending time with them- regardless what we do. The girls love to be outside, go for four-wheeler rides and pick wildflowers. They're so much fun to watch and every time I see them they've changed so much from the last visit.

These are my nieces, aren't they gorgeous?

This is the beautiful and adventurous Berlin

This is the lovely and imaginative Trynica

And Andy has enjoyed spending time with the girls too :)

I kinda like them. :) I kinda like my nephews too... can't wait to see them in a few days! (Except Gabe who is in S. Korea...MISS YOU!)

Feline Experience

My favorite part of the zoo has always been seeing the lions and tigers, but they always seem to be hiding and I never get a good look at them through all the layers of metal, gorges, wire and sometimes glass.

Well yesterday I got to experience lions and tigers up close, literally within touching distance. Separated by only chain link fence. Exhilarating. I'm positive that at any zoo you would never been allowed to be so close to wild animals. Experiencing this place is definitely not like a touring a zoo- it was intense.

The rescue is a facility that provides permanent homes for exotic cats that have been rescued from abused owners. They have nearly 200 cats there, and it costs no more than a movie to take a tour and come close enough to the animals to touch them. It was the second time I'd been there, the first time was a year ago: I went on a field trip with some kids between the ages of 3 & 6. At the time I was more concerned about holding onto the kid I had in each hand than observing the animals. Each adult was paired up with two kids- I don't think I'd ever gripped a child's hand as firmly as I had theirs. Especially when we walked between two cages and had a lion and tiger paces us earnestly on either side. Yeah. Holy crap.

Yesterday was the second trip. I'd wanted to take Andy there since I'd been the first time, I knew he would like it. We went with some friends of ours and their three kids. At the first tour stop the guide told us that the lions will stalk the little ones, its their instinct. We didn't totally believe it until one of the lions whole demeanor changed when the little ones came by and eyed them like they were lunch, the look in the face was freaky. Here's a picture of one of the lions staring down one of the kids, just before he growled at him. (It's a little hard to see his face but his eyes were scary.)

And this one was hunting us. Can you see him? I couldn't believe how well he blended in- for how big he was. We could hear him growling before we could actually see him.

Did you know that tigers actually get larger than lions? Yeah, me neither. Some of tigers we saw were 600 lbs!

See the trail between the cages in this picture? Yeah, we walked through that- for a long time. And they tell you stay 3 feet away from the cages... That trail is barely larger than 3 feet wide! The lion in the picture followed us, the second picture is literally how close we were to some of the animals. It's not a good picture, but it gives you the idea. It's not zoomed in. You literally could've touched them. Not that I wanted to!

These pictures don't really do the experience justice. It was incredible to be so close to the animals. To see the sheer mass of their size. To be warned to move along quickly by the tour guide when the animals showed signs of aggravation. To hear how loud a small growl is and imagine what a roar would sound like.

Oh, did I mention that a cougar escape from here last year and was never found? Holy crap!

Project

So I haven't blogged in awhile, sorry about that. I feel like I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Things have been crazy with work, normal life stuff, and trying to "fix up" our house as we're thinking about putting it on the market soon. So I've been doing lots of cleaning, fixing little odds and ends trying to get things just right. I didn't realize how filthy my windows were until I started cleaning them, or how much a few paint touchups can make a room look so much nicer.

Our biggest project was the outside of our house. We attempted landscaping last year and just let it go- so we had to bascially start over again this year. I've decided that I like, and dislike, gardening. I like that it makes my house look nicer, and I like doing things that I can see the outcome progress; but I don't think I have the patience to be really good at it. We're definitely not perfectionists about it, but it was fun to do together.

We laid new rock in our driveway and expanded it a bit.

Most of my lilies I planted last year in the back flower bed came up nicely again this year, I only had to replant two, and we laid new mulch. Our bush still needs to get trimmed though.

This is our front of the house. We planted the "tree/bush" and laid mulch, last year we planted the hostas plants. I still want to get a couple of flowers to add to the corner bed -maybe. I haven't decided yet. We also hung some potted flowers.

Our front flower bed was kind of an experiment. It turned out okay, I don't totally love it, but it doesn't look bad either. I planted some impatience- but I didn't have many colors to choose from.

We also planted two trees in the front of the house. They still need some mulch at the bottom though.

So here it is, the finished product. Now I've got to paint a couple rooms inside and it'll be ready!

Picture

Real quick.

I just had to post this picture I took at work yesterday. I just had to capture this on camera, it was so cool. It just amazes me how nature paints masterpieces everyday right before our eyes. I love it.

p.s. I know lots of you visit my blog! Don't be shy about leaving comments, I always love to read your thoughts! There's even an option to comment anonymously if you want!

Minnesota

There is something special about going to my parents house. First, its a vacation for us--some people don't have that luxury when they visit their parents, but everything about staying there screams vacation. It's remote, quiet, we're usually there for a week (which it always seem a lot longer--in a good way) and you're surrounded by people who love you for you--no strings attached, no pressure, no expectation. What better break from everyday-life could you ask for that doesn't require a passport or a hole in my purse?

Second, there's always an abundant of very tasty coffee, and yummy breakfast (there's nothing like my parents breakfasts'!)

Third, it's surrounded by woods. Not just a block of trees and on the other side is civilization. I mean...a forest. That alone adds to the remote feeling (well, not a feeling really--its a fact) and peacefullness. Sometimes it freaks me out when I come back from visiting friends and its dark out (and by dark I mean pitch black) I start to imagine a bear wandering in the yard or raccoons ready to snip at my feat by the garage--I usually run walk really fast up the walkway to the house and make lots of noise.

Fourth, I just love spending time with my family. Going for walks, riding four-wheeler, playing games, whatever catches our fancy. I have four siblings, three sibling-in-laws, and five nieces and nephews--I don't get to see them very often so I cherish the times that I do!

These are some fun pictures I took of my nieces and nephews. They are just so cute!

I stole this picture off my sister's camera. (L to R) my big sis Heidi, me, and sister-in-law Tia (we're missing my younger sister Kayla--she's overseas!)

Oh, and Heidi posted a fabulous blog about visiting our parents--her story is quite a bit more interesting than mine!

On a side note: this is the busiest trip I've had yet! I went somewhere almost everyday--though it was all in good fun! Lots of trips with and to my other family--the in-laws, which is always a good time! I am lucky to have in-laws that feel like family :)

And I got to spend some time with some dear friends of mine! (It stinks to live so far away from life-long friends, but I do love that they're the kind of friends that when you get together its as if nothing every changed and you pick-up where you left off!)

This is a picture of some very very good friends of mine (we've been friends for ages!) Ryan, Teri and their son Ezra. They are like family!

Lastly, we drove home on Andy's birthday--so I took advantages of the fact that we were with our families and threw a little surprise birthday party for him before we left to celebrate his birthday. It was last minute (bad me) but it was fun and he didn't expect it--I'm just glad he got to enjoy that for his birthday instead of just a crummy twelve-hour car ride.

It was fun! And I can't wait to go back again :)

Update

Thanks everyone for their input on my layout! I'm so indecisive--as you can tell--I went back and forth and couldn't make up my mind. But I've decided to stick with my new one!

Yes or no?

As you can see I've decided to try a new background and layout--those of you that know me well know that my taste changes a lot, so it's probably no surprise that I've already decided to try something new with my blog. :) But I'm not 100% about the new look--so I need your opinion! What do you think? Yes or no?

p.s. feel free to make a suggestion

My trip so far

Just a few things I love about being "home":

* Seeing family, of course :)

* Breakfast.

* Trees, trees... and more trees.

* At night it's completely dark- there is no street lights shining in my window.

* Sitting on the porch with the woods as my company- enjoying a cup of coffee.

* Walks in the woods- minus the ticks.

A few things I've realized:

* I love having a DVD player in the car- makes a twelve-hour drive go by a lot quicker

* I am more of an outdoorsy person than I thought.

* I absolutely and most positively despise bugs that swarm around your head and refuse to leave you sane.

* I should've brought warmer clothing- you think I'd know Minnesota better to bring my long-sleeves that I'd already packed away for the summer.

* It's not a good idea- unless you're a track athlete- to try jumping over an electric fence. I didn't clear it... good thing it wasn't on.

And its only been a few days- there's still more coming!

peek!

As Andy and I were driving home from the park, coming back from a 3 mile run, we approached our street and saw a car waiting at the stop sign. As we turned the corner we both stared at the car, I'm sure our mouths were hanging open. Not because it was fancy. No. That's not the reason. (Although it wasn't a bad car either, just sort of in-between). What caught our attention was the layer of plastic covering the driver's side window (or where a window should be). The kind of thick hazy plastic you can't see through. But the really odd part was the small hole in the middle of it and the finger we saw poking through that hole and an the eyeball earnestly peeking out. Andy and I just looked at each other and laughed. Seriously, did that guy just check for traffic through a little hole in his plastic window? Nice. Super safe. Most of us are driving with our windows down... it's so warm. Wouldn't having no window be safer than a little peep hole? You'd like to think so...

St. Louis

We had a mini-vaca to St. Louis with some friends over the weekend. It felt great to get away and experience a new city! I loved the warm weather and sunshine- though I accidently left the sunblock at home and we both got burnt!

Friday we arrived and ate supper in The Hill at this cute and delicious Italian restaurant. Then we walked around The Landing and checked out the nightlife. It was so warm, when we got back to our hotel around midnight I believe it still wasn't under 80 degrees!

Saturday we went to the zoo with our friends and their kids, and saw half of our town there- apparently everyone was in St. Louis that weekend! :) The zoo was fun, and free! Andy is like a big kid himself, he loved the zoo.

We went to Busch Stadium to watch the Cardinals vs. Cubs game, and to see our towns' elementry school choir sing. Andy was determined to have a true ball game experience so he got a $7.75 bottle of beer and a $4.00 hotdog. I got a $5.00 coke. Crazy! Next time I'm bringing my own snacks.

Sunday we experienced the famous Arch. It was the second time I've been there but I was still awed by the amazing feat. We took a tram to the top of the arch- (my camera died so I took some pics from inside the arch on my friends' camera...I'll put those pictures up when I get them). It was super windy that day and when I got to the top and exited the cramped tram I thought I was just sick from the confined space. I soon realized the back and forth sway was the actual arch moving, it was nauseating. It felt like you were on a boat- trying to keep your balance. Despite the sick feeling it was very cool and an amazing view!