Progress

Thank you for all the advice and suggestions regarding sleeping babes. I really enjoyed reading all of your thoughts, you all had good stuff to say and your words have really helped me as I'm beginning to teach my daughter to put herself to sleep.

I am pleased to report that we are having success - in fact, Vienna has put herself to sleep for two straight weeks now.

I really gave it a lot of thought and ultimately I didn't want to make a decision based out of frustration. I really think you were all right, that it depends on the child - and tuning into what your baby needs. I really thought about what it would be like to be her, I tried to put myself in her position - as a little babe, who doesn't know things like I do, whose senses are more alert than mine are and who is more sensitive to them. If I were her, what would I go through if I cried and cried and nobody came for me? I tested the waters twice before I wrote my previous post regarding the matter, and when she cried I could tell she was fearful - and when I finally went in to get her, her eyes were wild and she was scared. It was after this I really began to give it a lot of thought because my decisions are going to affect her development emotionally, as well as in every other way.

A certain friend gave me some great advice in where she talked about feeling empathy for your child and letting them know that you are there - even if that means not giving them what they want. And to be emotionally present as well as physically present. Taking this into consideration I kind of just went for it, I tried to tune into what I thought Vienna needed and made sure I was reacting out of love and with empathy, and it was rather interesting to see how well and quickly Vienna responded.

The first two days I stayed with Vienna until she fell asleep, nap times and bedtime. I did not rock her. Sometimes I needed to lay my hand on her to let her know I was there, sometimes just sitting next to the crib or lying with her was all she needed. She cried, a little, but not the extent of if I had left her alone. The first few times it took a little while for her to fall asleep, but I hoped that spending the time doing this and staying focused would pay off, and we quickly made progress. It was rather interesting to see the difference in Vienna when my own emotions changed - she responded so well when I was focused on her, being patient and loving, as to how much fussier she became when I got irritated and impatient. Now, two weeks later this is where we stand: I lay her down, make sure she has her pacifier and blankie - of course give her a kiss - and walk out the room. I usually have to go back a couple of times because her pacifier will fall out and she'll fuss for it, but then sometimes she goes to sleep straight from the beginning. Half of the time she puts herself to sleep just from the comfort of her pacifier and her blankie, without fuss. Yes! Success! The other 50% of the time she is a little worked up and stimulated where she won't settle down enough to lay still to fall asleep, so I will stay in there and keep my hand on her, by her face usually - she likes to hold my fingers to her cheek - and just spending a few minutes being with her comforts her enough for her to fall asleep - I almost always let go of my hold and walk out of the room before she's completely fallen asleep. Sometimes if she is really worked up I'll spend a couple of minutes rocking her to calm her wiggly body and then I will lay her down - and over the last two weeks I have discovered that she prefers not to be rocked to sleep, she gets to a point where she just wants to be put down.

So not only has nap-times and bedtimes become easier and less of a stress, but she is sleeping more soundly through the night because of it. I noticed a change through the night from the very first day. She is a lot less fidgety and is sleeping in longer chunks of time. On a normal night she gets up twice, though she's given me two nights in the past two weeks of only one nighttime feeding! And when she wakes up to feed, all I have to do is lay her back in bed and she falls asleep on her own. Yes!

So that's the update! I am so thankful. So thanks again, I really appreciate everyone for caring enough to respond, your input and encouragement was great and I am so happy that we're making progress!